college. life.

Obviously failed my post a day plan.

Stepheny — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 06:31:14 +0000

I didn’t realize how long I’d gone until I was looking at my twitter account and saw a post I had done that said something about re-blogging. I only last a few months at a time before I get tired of writing about what I do and think and want to say on a daily basis. Most of the time is because I’m afraid I’ll say something on here that will eventually turn out negatively in the long run.

Oh well, here goes.

This summer has gone really well, a whole month has gone by and I’ve already accomplished a lot. I’m taking 2 classes- Childhood Psychopathology and Organic Chemistry II and working 2 jobs, one at a fast food italian “cafe” for a few hours a week, and my new job as a banquet server at a hotel. I just started there last weekend and I’m looking forward to working there some more. I’m supposed to be volunteering at the PICU in the hospital, but I’ve yet to get a TB test and get it read ( I got the test at the beginning of the month but never went back 2 days later to get it checked).

I’ve spend many nights up (late as usual) watching TV shows and movies and barhopping with my friends. I made it out to Bonnaroo in Manchester, Tennessee which was hot, sandy and amazing as well as ran the Warrior Dash outside of Chicago which was challenging exciting and muddy. I’m also finally signed up for a half-marathon in September, thanks to my cousin Ryan, which I’ve JUST begun training for today… and I only ran 2.5 miles.

This weekend, my best friend Caitlin will be in town to visit Thursday- Sunday, and next weekend my little brother will be here. I’m extremely excited for both visits, but at the same time afraid I wont be able to see them much because I’m still unsure of my work schedule.

My dad’s birthday is coming up, I have no idea what to get him.

I think I’m finally over my last guy, but I’ve obviously thought this before and that once again obviously was not true. But I really think I am this time. Working the wedding this weekend, however, made me realize that as okay as I am with being single, I really do miss having a boyfriend– but at the same time, I can’t seem to find anyone that I like for more than a few weeks, and when I do, I freak out and mess it up anyways.

There is a bug flying around on my screen and my battery is running out.

If anyone actually read this whole post, I apologize for how long and boring it was.

Walk it Out: Multi Cultural Fashion Show

Stepheny — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 03:44:20 +0000

This weekend was the 2nd annual Walk it Out Multi Cultural Fashion Show. The groups represented included Hip Hop, LGBT, Latin American,African, East Asian and South Asian. I modeled in the South Asian group and it was one of the best experiences I’ve had here at UIowa so far. I met some great people and had a whole lot of fun!

Until I can find a better one of me, this is the picture that I took off the IMU flickr. the rest of the pictures that they took can be found here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/imubuddy/sets/72157626464871760/with/5605211120/

Rant

Stepheny — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 08:03:03 +0000

A friend just linked me to this documentary on the Westboro Baptist Church. The girls in the documentary make it very clear that they have no interest in boyfriends or marriage because their existence during this lifetime was to serve God. And I found this interesting because, “fornication” (not “making love” — because apparently you have to be married to do that) cannot happen since it is sinful and they would go straight to hell. This made me wonder, if these girls are not interested in the opposite sex-or even having friends for that matter- will there be another generation of Westboro Baptist Church members once these younger brainwashed children grow up and Fred Phelps die? Or will these girls somehow find others to love them, and find the time outside of worshiping God, and preaching, and striking, to love the men back? If they don’t ever marry, and then “make love” will there not be a next generation of such a brain-washed cult? If not, I know I’d be very okay with it. Nothing that they’re doing is okay.

Thank you, Bob Marley

Stepheny — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 07:30:13 +0000

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
— Bob Marley

I dont even know what day in the year it is.

Stepheny — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 06:10:51 +0000

I stopped counting for too long. Its been a pretty busy few weeks up until this week though- I am nearing the end of my spring break, which has been.. lazy, but somewhat refreshing. I wish I had done more than sleep in until very late and eat and watch TV shows on my netflix account though. Making the most of my money i guess. And I got a few chapters of organic chem studying in, which will hopefully be helpful as I’ve got an exam next week.

Coacha passed a few weeks ago, I meant to blog about it, but I couldn’t get myself to do it without being extremely sad. So instead, I put everything into finding a way home to attend the visitation and be with the team, my second family.

Anyways, If anyone who happens to read this is in the Rockford Area, go try the Vanilla Cream Ale at Carlyle’s Brewing Co. Its tasty!

Day 29– I’m a slacker.

Stepheny — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 04:35:06 +0000

I’ve only missed about 9 days… in a row. oh well

+ I’ve signed a lease for next year. Its a ton farther away from campus than where I live now, then again right now I live across the street. Its GORGEOUS though, I couldn’t be more excited

+ I saw The Wailers and Big Gigantic, both were fantastic. I also had tickets to see Dan Deacon, but I never made it, was celebrating Hetal’s 21st!

+ Got a significantly above average grade for the first time in a science class, it pays taking Orgo 1 for a second time..

+ Still not finished with Dexter. I have however, caught up on Californication and the new series Shameless (which is great- I highly recommend it). I’m also almost done with the second season of Party Down and a third of the way through season 1 of Mad Men.

+ I haven’t been able to fall asleep before 4 in a very long time– this is the only reason I’ve watched so many TV shows by now this semester

+ Unlimited Hot House Yoga for a month is now 70 dollars. I think I will have to do that. LOVE HOT HOUSE.

+ I’m also staying in tonight. This is a rare occurrence, last time I did this, I ended up making myself sad. This time I will watch a movie and maybe get some studying in.

+ I need to finish reading Crime and Punishment so that I can start reading Anna Karenina

+ Bonnaroo Tickets on Sale tomorrow afternoon! SOOOO EXCITED.

Day 28– Weekend Update

Stepheny — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 06:15:17 +0000

I auditioned for the Walk It Out Multicultural fashion show quickly before work on Friday and am excited to say that I will be in it! I’m very excited for it. Hopefully, my work schedule will not conflict with it too much since I only work nights.

Last night I went and saw The Wailers, the first show I’d gone to in a while. Theres no way the 3 singers were not on infinite drugs. I enjoyed them though, they’re definitely performers.

Thats all I’ve got for today,

Day 36- On being alone.

Stepheny — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 07:47:10 +0000

I decided to stay in tonight. Alone, for once. Usually even if I’m just staying in to hang around the apartment, there is at least one other person with me, if not my roommates.

But tonight, neither of them are here. My sister is out at a friends, and my other roommate went home for the weekend. While I got a nice bubble bath in and almost caught myself up in the current season of Californication, I found the night rather lonely. Just me, and my TV, and my thoughts. This may seem like a good thing, but maybe I should have gotten a run in there first. Atleast perhaps that way I wouldn’t have too much energy to think about so much.

Turns out Californication isn’t a show to put you in a good and relaxing mood when you and your dad haven’t always gotten along. Or when you are afraid of “falling” for someone, as cheesy as that may sound.

This is not to say that I don’t love my dad though, I do love him dearly. However, we don’t have a ‘typical’ father/daughter relationship- if one at all.

And for the whole “falling” for someone, I’ve discovered recently (due to the rare occasions where I have nights like tonight), that I’m too afraid of even “letting down my walls.” Probably because every time I start to, I either start backing out, or I get hurt. For instance, my situation right now has been the most ridiculous I’ve ever gotten myself into. But for some reason, I’m stuck. Every time I try to move on (I’ve tried so many times), I find myself back where I started months ago, almost a year ago. I get frustrated/mad/annoyed/whatever-you-want-to-call-it, find someone new, then find some fault and back away and end up back with the same person. What am I doing to myself?

Enough with the whining on the internet.

Goals for this month (I still can’t believe its February already):

Find and get a present to my mom BEFORE her birthday
Meet new people or reconnect with someone old, it will be refreshing
Sign a lease for next fall so I don’t have to live in a box
Eat healthy, live healthy, feel better
Continue to play the guitar- maybe get better for once instead of being stuck
Fafsa & Taxes- get them going.
Hookah & Drink less
Re-pierce my nose, I kind of miss it
Blog more often, even if no one cares what I do every day.

Day 32–And Some Days, They Last Longer Than Others..

Stepheny — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 05:45:18 +0000

I swear we must have gotten at least a foot of snow today. Thankfully, I was still able to take my Calc quiz and Anatomy exams. I really hate feeling ready for an exam and then finding out that I have to wait another few days to take it. I’d rather just get it done and out of my mind- which is exactly what I got to do.

I was surprised at the number of people that came into work today, not that there was a terrible amount of people in there that we were busy. But knowing how much snow was piling up on the ground made me want to leave there as soon as possible. I cannot emphasize how glad I was that I bought new snow boots just a few weeks ago. They definitely played an enormous role in keeping my feet dry and warm all day. I even thanked my mom again when I was on the phone with her tonight for allowing me to use her card to purchase them.

My mom called me tonight worried about the weather. She felt bad that I had to work in this weather and was nervous about me walking home. But I assured her, while joking that I was walking through a tundra, that the walk wasn’t too terrible. With the exception of one other person, I lived the closest to work anyways. Why ask someone else to go in for me for a few hours? Although I did feel like I was getting repeated slap in the face with snow every time I walked outside. Emily told me that “mother nature was angry.” While I agree, I actually find the snow quite comforting and beautiful. Its still winter, there should be snow on the ground.

As unfortunate as it was that I was snowed in and my friends were not able to make their way over after a long day of studying, a quiz, an exam and work, I’ve actually quite enjoyed having this time to myself. My sister is right in the other room, but I do not want to bother her studying. She has the same anatomy exam that I had today tomorrow. However, I think she’s been on the phone for the past half hour or so. I took a nice bubble bath, and picked up my guitar in what has probably been months. There was dust sitting on it. I also had to re-tune the top four strings, but it was well worth it. I’ve really missed playing the guitar, tonight I learned how to play With Arms Outstretched by Rilo Kiley. I tried looking for some Adele to learn, but she has a lot more piano in her songs. Maybe I’ll go to the piano lab sometime soon and try to learn some. She has such beautiful songs.

Anyway, here’s the song I learned tonight.

Days 30-31– Food Journal for a week

Stepheny — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 06:20:20 +0000

I don’t remember the last time I felt as full as I did yesterday. When I don’t know what to do with myself, I snack. My friend suggested keeping track of what I eat. I will list everything that I can recall eating at the end of each day for a week. I will not be putting down proportions, or calorie counts. Just what I ate. Simple as that.

DAY 1:

Oatmeal w/raisins

@airliner
tenderloin sandwich and fries
half of a calamari appetizer

chocolate mousse

cookies!
1 slice of pizza from mesa

Day 2:

Ritz Crackers & Gouda Cheese

Chocolate Mousse

Potato Soup

Mac & Cheese w/ Bacon and breadcrumbs

Yogurt w/Granola

2 scrambled eggs

Food Journal fail, I dont remember what i ate yesterday. Game over.